Once

Just a little exercise, but it made me smile, so.

 I always walk alone, especially at night. It's peaceful, especially when the weather turns cold and those with more sense than I spend their time in doors. I don't worry, though the city is a large one, and crime is not nonexistent, at just over six feet I'm large for a woman, and two tours in the mountains of Afghanistan burned away any hesitation I may once have had. I don't walk like a target.

Perhaps that is why, when the man approached me, like a spy out of some twenties radio serial, clad in trench coat and slope hat, I didn't shy away.

“Hello,” he said, and I stared at him, “How are you on this most auspicious of evenings?”

“As well as can be expected,” I took advantage of the forced break in my pace to fish out a cigarette, but was then forced to pat myself awkwardly, unable to find a lighter.

“Allow me.” he drew a box of thick matches from some hidden pocket and lit it with a flick of his thumb.

“Thank you.”

“I have a proposition.”

I waited a moment to let his words sink in, “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

I smoked in silence.

“Would you like to hear it?”

“Consider it payment for the light.”

“Very well,” a deep breath, “I am a representative of a rather powerful conglomeration of individuals. We are not typically concerned with the doings of those outside our little circle, however, from time to time, we must select one of you to... adjudicate a debate. You have been selected as a likely candidate.”

“Why?”

“Because you ask 'why?' rather than 'what?'”

Internally I conceded the point, “How long will this take?”

“Oh, no time at all, as far as you are concerned, though it will feel rather longer than that. I can have you back here five minutes ago, if you would like.”

I nodded, slightly, and nearly got trampled by a herd of wildebeest.

“Sorry,” he shouted, “It's always like this.”

“What is?” I replied, though rather too loudly as we were then standing alone in a cavernous marble room.

“The transition. I've never been sure why all the wildebeest, but some of the gods seem to like it, so it stays.” he was looking around distractedly.

“Gods?”

“Don't worry about it. Ah!” he started off, and I perforce followed.

We soon came before a high table, at which sat a dozen surly looking men and women, who would probably have appeared majestic had they not all affected the most childlike of possible demeanors. I listened as they squabbled, apparently a young man in green had done something unconscionable hundreds of years before my birth, and the woman in all the fur, and the horned helmet, seemed to have only just found out. She thought he should be punished, he thought it was funny.

The stranger was right, it felt like a lot longer than no time at all.

Eventually I sided with the “younger” of the gods, Jack in the Green as he called himself, simply because he seemed like more fun than the dour matriarch. As I lay my verdict the entire table pulled out sacks of some tanned leather and began counting out gold coins to one another. Jack accumulated quite a stack.

As bets were being repaid the stranger turned to me, “Thank you,” he said, “you may go.”

And I found myself, walking alone, a few minutes ahead of schedule.